It’s time to try to organize my thoughts long enough to update those of you who are still on the English speaking side of the planet. Another Typhoon is in my presence as I write to you again. I thought that first arriving in Taipei was the most intense flow of emotions, boy was I wrong. My second month here has brought tears of happiness, and of grief, smiles and laughter on a day to day basis, but most of all; confusion about, well, just essentially everything. Lately I’ve been taking time to appreciate all of the little things around me. I’ve been spending a lot of time focusing on being self aware, rather than just focusing on how different everyone here is from myself. I spent so much time trying to change my life sometimes that I forgot to live it. Now, I indulge in every moment, and I don’t hold back. It’s really a spectacular thing to do; I am discovering so much more by just taking life as it comes to me. I live my life here hour by hour, for fear that one day at a time is too much to focus on.
Time here is just flying by. I can hardly believe that it has been two months already. My environment continues to change as I struggle to catch up with this new world. Weather here is getting cooler, thank goodness! lately it has been about 75* Fahrenheit everyday, with sporadic rainfall. I am loving every minute of it. My classmates all tell me that I am crazy when I show up to school without a jacket on. Most of them have already dug out their winter jackets, and I have spotted a few scarfs. Currently is is cold for me; I'd never thought I would say this in a million years, but it is 70* outside and I am FREEZING! It turns out that it rains a lot here in the “winter”. But strangely, I don’t find that it’s a gloomy sort of rain. It’s more peaceful than anything. Who knows though; perhaps after a few more months of rain I won’t be as fond of it.
I am still adjusting to school life here, but mostly I can handle school. I am beginning to understand what my teachers are saying to me, and lately i have been able to answer a few questions. They are all so proud of me (and themselves, because they like to believe that they are the only reason I know any Chinese at all). I love all of my classmates, and the students in my school are so cheerful. WHEN they greet me, (I say when because most of them are still to shy to even look at me), it is always with a smile and a warm Chinese phrase. I feel myself fitting in more, not only in my class but in my school. I don't get starred at in the hallways as much, the cafeteria ladies know me (and each one of them wants me to come to THEIR register), and even my principle wants to talk to me as much as he can. It really astonishes me how quickly and well I am learning everything. I find myself eager to learn everything, about anything. Maybe it is a little of that hard working Taiwanese study ambition that my friends here have, being instilled in me.
With the joy, here is the pain. I have been away from my friend and family, and the quaint little town that we call home, for some time. I got my first case of homesickness, and it was no joke. Craving home set up a huge hurdle in my path, and for about three days I did not want anything to do with Taiwan, I was in a completely irritable mood, and the only thing I could think about was home. So, I gave myself a break. I did not have to attend school during their midterm exams so that day, was a day all about me. I did everything I wanted to do. I slept in, which means until about nine a.m. here, watched american television on the internet, skyped with friends, and found the closest thing to American food that I could: pancake mix. The next day, I met someone on the MRT who completely changed my outlook on what I was doing here.
I was in my own world that day. Plugged into my iPod with the volume all the way up, staring blankly at the window of the car. A song came on that reminded me of my best friends, and a familiar line "Another aeroplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky I know, I just wanna go home..." I was bawling my eyes out and I could not stop. Thank god I was in the corner facing away from everyone, but I was just silently sobbing for a large part of the hour long ride. Now, understand this, Taiwanese handle emotions a lot different than you and me. It is embarrassing for them to feel sad or upset, especially in public. A man came up behind me and just tapped on my shoulder. I took my headphones out of my ear to hear him ask "are you okay?". When I responded with "I will be", all he said was "I know how it feels to be alone here too". WHAT?! I said to myself, who is his guy? I turned around to see a nice looking guy who appeared to be maybe 19 or 20. I learned that his name was Charlie, and that he was from California. He has lived here for 2 years. He is a student at a university close to where I live. He gave me a big hug and told me to just stick it out, not to worry. Encouraging words fell from his lips with the best sense of kindness. I learned that what I was gong through was, in fact, normal. He then told me that he knew as soon as he left my side I'd be crying again. He had to get off of the MRT at the next stop, and we had no time to exchange contact information, but I was okay with that. I feel so grateful for his innocent kindness. But non-the-less, I did continue to cry.
My host family has played a huge role in getting me over my home sick feelings as well. My family here is wonderful, more than I could have ever asked for. They do so much for me, a lot that they don't have to. I never have to ask them for anything, they just do such nice things for me. I love them. I am dreading the day that I have to change host families.
So everyone, I am still here. Just as happy as I could ever be. I have made leaps and bounds in this not-so-foreign, (at least to me anymore), land. I am discovering more things about my world here, as well as my world back in the states, with each passing day. I look forward to sharing tons more experiences with you all soon!
I WILL TRY AND BE ON HERE A LOT MORE-- I FIND, AS I GET MORE INVOLVED WITH MY LIFE HERE, I LET GO OF LIFE BACK IN THE U.S. My apologies <3
